Attention Isn’t the Same as Intention
Primarily because I know that innovation in many popular dating websites is fairly stagnant. I thought OkCupid had something worthwhile, but they really don’t; they’re just like every other dating site out there. That said, I wanted to see how it is that they achieve this whole dating offline jig, so I signed up to get a closer look. HowAboutWe’s sign-up Process First off the sign-up process is lean and to the point. In other words you’re not posed with answering these long surveys about who you are, where you came from and what you want to be when you grow up. Totally a breath of fresh air. You wanna know what I hate more than a person who wusses out at the Special #2 challenge at Orochan Ramen? A person who writes a 1200 word dissertation on their life, why their interesting and why I’d want to date them!!is ashley madison worth it The questions you answer are things that I’d actually want to know about other people. Go figure. The Look and Feel Aesthetically speaking, i really like the look of the site.
It’s fairly neutral, but most of all it’s clean and free of annoying ads. As a web developer, this is the sort of UI we strive to achieve when we build a new site. How About We appears to have taken great care to make their site simple, easy to use with an eye toward usability and clarity. That is, it’s very easy to find what you want on the site. Which leads me to… HowAboutWe… Find an Interesting Date There’s a large emphasis on doing interesting things on your date. I think that focus is what makes ‘How About We…‘ shine. Everybody can post date ideas and other users can show their approval for the data, thus, it really makes it easy to find like-minded people to do something interesting. Don’t believe me? Here’s a few dates that really stick out to me: Donate blood and reward ourselves with a burger afterward Have a couple of pumpkin beers now that it’s socially acceptable Rent a convertible for the day and drive around the town with the top down. I mean, these may be very simple ideas, but they’re cool and fun things to do that don’t require a huge commitment out of one’s day. I really like it. Other Bells and Whistles The Speed Date and Daily Dates features are fun. Using the Speed Date feature is a good way to scan through other members quickly, helping you find people you may have something in common with. The Daily Date feature is similar to OkCupid’s ‘Quiver‘ feature. I’m not sure how the Daily Dates are selected, if there’s an algorithm that assists or not I don’t know.
But it’s yet one other way to find and interact with other like-minded singles. If nothing else, How About We… really excels in getting people to think about fun things to do and helps them find people who’d like to do those same fun things. It seems as though they really listened to what people wanted from an online dating service, then they went and built it. It’s a concept that is difficult to explain, but when you see it executed as it has been on their site, HowAboutWe… has definitely raised the bar on Online Dating by simply taking things offline. Wait! There’s More!! certainly check them out! For readers of the Urban Dater, HowAboutWe.com is offering a one month free trial to our readers and followers. When promoting this special offer, the discount code that must be included is: “FallDating” This review was sponsored by How About We… You can read about our legal and disclosure statement here. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading…
Share This Article Facebook1Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Featured, Online Dating Tagged in: how about we, Online Dating In my previous blog, I referred to sex as a commodity (and it most certainly is), but I feel the need to post an update after a recent experience. ***This is NSFW Though I do believe sex isn’t something to be made available to anyone who asks, I have revised the firmness of my previous stance. As I have embarked upon incredible life changes in the past weeks with surprising results, I decided to throw caution to the wind and do something I vowed I would NEVER do. Here’s the story: After losing a bet with a friend, my ‘punishment‘ was 7 days on Tinder–an app I despised from its inception. But, being a good sport, I sucked it up and put up a profile. As per the guidelines of the bet, I said ‘yes‘ to 10 people and waited to see what happened. I was matched with 9 of the 10 within minutes, which I found distressing. I mean, are these clowns glued to their phones 24×7 desperately awaiting fresh blood? But I digress. The very first ‘match‘ to message me could barely string a coherent thought together and immediately asked me to find him on Facebook.
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No thanks. I unmatched him post haste. Then a seemingly semi normal guy messaged, but then quickly fell off a cliff with “You should come over tonight and see if what we have is real.” WTF?
And then came Sean the following morning… Sean was funny without being cheesy, smart without being arrogant and seemed to grasp my penchant for sarcasm from the get go. Not to say that he didn’t push the boundaries of innuendo, but it was never vulgar, so I took the bait. He asked to satisfy that afternoon for iced tea (his with lemon, and mine without) and the banter continued seamlessly without the typical awkward silences. Just as I was prepared to declare him ‘normal‘, he said we needed to walk to his hotel so he could change for dinner. How original. But instead of feigning insult, I found myself walking with him. Once in his room, he changed (while I politely turned around), and it’s then I knew I was in trouble. The make out session that ensued was…memorable. I began to wonder if I was losing my grip on reality, considering I had somehow ended up in a hotel room and making out with someone I’d known for 2.5 hours, but I soldiered on bravely into this new frontier. He then picked me up, threw me on the bed and proceeded to give me a glimpse of heaven. After I came to my senses (temporarily anyways), I put my feet back on the floor, smoothed my dress and announced he was the devil. Alas, clothes stayed on, he was a gentleman, and off to sushi we went. I’ve read ginger and sushi are aphrodisiacs, so I’m blaming the subsequent events on the fact that I clearly overindulged. And considering I was stone cold sober, I’m left grasping at straws.
We strolled yet again back to his hotel room, under the guise of watching the MLB playoff game. (I started to sense a pattern). And if I thought I was in trouble earlier, I was in WAY over my head now. All of the rules and boundaries I had so painstakingly created and lived by were slipping through my fingers at an alarming rate. But it felt so ridiculously good, I couldn’t bring myself to stop. He was dominant, yet curious; questioning, yet persuasive. Sean was intuitive to the point I was starting to doubt his career as a trader–clearly he was a medium specializing in reading minds. And the way he read every involuntary gasp, inhaled breath, and clenched fist was revolutionary. Who’d have thought a man could pay attention long enough to process a response and adjust accordingly?
I’m sold. As a marketer, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt I could bottle and sell that shit. So yes, I broke my own rules and slept with someone I’d known only 5 hours. And I didn’t catch on fire, feel like a hooker or leave in disgrace, even though my mother assured me that’s what would happen. (Sorry, Mom) My first one night stand? Hell, no–I went back for more at 10am the next day. P.S. To those of you who told me only sluts put out on the first date, bless you. You have no idea what you’re missing. P.P.S. a special thanks to Sean for feeling the need to change into pants. And for that magic trick you do with your finger. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading…
Share This Article Facebook0Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Online Dating Tagged in: Dating, one night stand, Online Dating, tinder Are you a couple who is filled with adventure? Wanting to explore the world? Experience things? Take life by the scruff of the neck and live it to the max? Then forget a nice bistro or drinking an over exuberant cocktail from a barrel in a mock-tiki bar; take your next date on a trip they will never forget. If you and your partner – perhaps even first date – are adrenaline junkies, then why don’t you ditch the dining table and do something you’ll both enjoy? Get the heart beating and throw yourselves into something truly unforgettable. Hot Air Balloon And that could start with heading to the skies in a balloon and looking down on the towns and cities below. Picture the scene: you’re soaring through the sky, the sun is setting on the horizon. You’re sipping champagne, watching the world in full speed below.
You’ve got your arm around your partner and let’s face it – you never want to let go. It’s perhaps the most romantic date imaginable and certainly beats a trip to the local Pizza Hut. The Casino If glamour is your thing then a trip to the casino could well be for you. a win on the slots or at the poker tables is a thrill that can’t be replicated, and is fun whether you’re pros or a pair of beginners. You can learn how to play the table games like blackjack and roulette online before you go – this way you’ll know what you’re doing and have a better shot at winning enough for dinner after the action. It’s your chance to turn into James Bond and Vesper Lynd and spend an extravagant evening together. Skiing Whether it be dry-slope skiing or heading up to the mountains for a weekend of action, nothing quite beats cutting through the fresh snow before heading back to the lodge for a hot chocolate and a bite to eat. Learning to ski together can be a great way to not only get to know a date better, but also experience something new and exciting together.
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And then of course, cuddling up after a long day on the slopes in front of an open fire is the perfect end to the day. Theme Park A trip to the fair or amusement park never ceases to amaze, whether it be winning a goldfish on hook-a-duck or taking to the rollercoasters; it’s a classic date venue.https://topadultreview.com/ And for good reason, too.
Climb aboard a few crazy rides and it’s sure to get the adrenaline pumping as well as your partner clutching to your arm. Top this off with some cotton candy and a corndog and you’ve got a trip to a theme park that’s straight out of the movies. Skydiving You may occasionally feel like you want to throw your partner out of a plane. Well, you could get a chance if you sign up for a skydiving date. Skydiving is one heck of an experience for couples to talk about together, and something you’ll be talking about together for years. Obviously ensure that your partner isn’t scared of heights first – after all, it’s an expensive date for them to get too scared and pull out, while if they do throw themselves out, they may then hate you forever. I know I would. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook4Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Date Ideas Tagged in: Date Ideas, Dating When I say “press the action” I don’t mean taking your unmentionable parts and shoving them against your partner.
I mean, do it, but that’s not what I mean by pressing the action. Too often, at least in my own relationships, I see situations in a relationship where things go unsaid and confusion rules the day. a good friend of mine is in this situation now. What does pressing the action really mean, though?To me, pressing the action is taking the initiative and making things happen. I’m not saying become a type a personality or anything. Sometimes being aggressive is helpful in deciphering the varied mysteries that relationships can assume. For instance, with my friend, he’s not sure if his girlfriend wants to be in a relationship or not. She says they should just be friends, but she’ll do “things” with him that are not consistent with a “just friends” relationship.
So he’s confused by this behavior naturally and has resigned himself to deciphering what his girlfriend is thinking and why she’s doing what she’s doing. This next statement may cause a firestorm or an angry mob of women, but I’m prepared, I’m a women’s mud wrestling champion dammit! Anyway, why the f%#! should he care what she is thinking and figure out why she’s doing what she’s doing? Sure, getting to the bottom of things would be nice but I think that’s the wrong way to go about it. My steps for kicking an excessive amount of ass and getting to the bottom of a problem relationship: Communicate – Simple enough, right? State expectations – State what you want from the relationship. Understand it and know it and stick to it. State the end result – State what the ramifications are if you don’t get the answer you want. That is, if you get a response other than what expectation is then you need to identify a certain action, or actions, and stick to it. In this case, if your girlfriend isn’t sure or doesn’t want to be with you it’s time to give her time or walk away completely, and STICK TO IT! If I didn’t emphasize it enough in bullet point 3. then let me restate it: STICK TO YOUR GUNS! Stick to your decided course of action. It may seem as though I’m over simplifying problem relationships… Okay, perhaps I am. However, if we push the action by stating what we want and what we will do if we don’t get what we want we really are opening a dialogue to resolution and cutting through all the “iffy” crap. Another thing I’d like to state is that I’m not talking about ultimatums here.
Absolutely not. What I am advocating is being clear in thought, and be consistent with what we think, say and do. Actually this whole article could be summed up like so: Take the initiative, think clearly, speak really, act accordingly. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook0Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships, Tips & Advice Tagged in: observations, pursuit of love Couples often think that the more time they spend together, the better their relationship will be. We’ve all met the infamous pair that won’t go anywhere without each other like the Siamese Couple—partners who are joined at the hip. Then there’s the opposite extreme, the couple that doesn’t go anywhere at all. We call them the Ghost Couple. Their friends often wonder if they’ve moved to another country, or worse, whether or not they’re still alive. Deeply cherishing your significant other is a beautiful thing. And sadly, commitment is scarce these days.
The world could use more serious relationships, especially in this generation. But there’s a thin line between love and obsession. Couples who spend too much time together often lose a sense of their identity. They forget how important it is to maintain separate lives and pursue their prior goals. If your relationship is lacking in this department, there are a few things you can do to encourage a little more space and strengthen it in the long run. Keep Your Friends Close. Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you should lose touch with friends. Losing touch with friends happens lot and is often written off as being normal. “I haven’t heard from Joe in a while; he must be back with his ex.” That is not acceptable. We all need friends in our lives, whether we’re single or not. Make a point to keep in touch with them. Don’t only call them when you need something or when things go wrong in your relationship. They’ll get sick of hearing solely about your problems, and they’ll start to feel used, and the connection can get lost. They’ll view your boyfriend or girlfriend as the reason they never see you. And they’ll start to resent them for it. That will put a strain on the relationship as outside forces are rooting so that you can break up. You need friends to support you.
That’s the whole point of friendship. Go Out Solo. It’s important to have your Girls or Guys Nights Out, even when you’re in a relationship. Flying solo will allow you to enjoy yourself, without worrying about whether your copilot is having fun too. Plus, your friends will appreciate the one-on-one time they don’t always get from you. Going out alone provides an opportunity to acknowledge your identity. It will help you gain confidence that will, in turn, reflect positively on the relationship. In my experience, being alone at parties and other outings makes me speak more highly of my boyfriend than I would if he was with me. I’ve even had to stop myself from bragging too much before.
It allows you to look at the relationship from an outside angle, and notice the things you might be taking for given. On the contrary, I have also been able to pinpoint issues from this view that I was unaware of before. Pursue Separate Hobbies. In general, having hobbies is important. Why do you believe our parents spend so much money getting us into sports, or dance, or band? Pursuing these interests help us focus and learn more about ourselves while also building our self-esteem. Healthy relationships are defined when two people become interested in one another’s individuality. We’ve all heard the saying, “opposites attract,” right?
You fall in love with people because they can do the things you cannot do; it’s not a good idea to then start taking those things from them. Let them be who they are and let them do what they do. These differences encourage independency into the relationship. Partners with different strengths can expand their ability as a couple and broaden each other’s cultural horizon. They rarely run out of things to discuss, come up with unique date ideas and enjoy teaching and learning from one another. Spend Time Alone Spending time alone is just as important as spending time with friends and family. Create a healthy balance. There should be the perfect amount of space between you and your partner in order that things don’t feel mundane. In this case, distance does indeed make the heart grow fonder. Spending time apart will make you appreciate your moments together even more. Having space has also helped me sustain the whole mystery factor, which keeps the spark alive. Agree Upon a Degree of Independence.
It’s important that both partners have a mutual understanding of this desired independency. A relationship is bound to fail when one person is more dependent than the other. There’s a difference between needing someone and wanting them. When a person needs you, it usually means that it doesn’t matter who you are as long as you’re their crutch to fall on. These partners are the dependent type. They will resent you for wanting to do things without them. They might find it offensive or shady, possibly even assuming that you’re cheating. Dependent partners will drive you, and themselves, crazy.
Trust me; I’ve dated one. When a person wants you in their life, and vice versa, it’s a much bigger compliment. It’s like saying, I could manage life fine without you, but I’d rather not. Healthy couples discuss these things. They agree upon how much space there should be in the relationship plus they respect it. They don’t resent each other for wanting time alone, or time with friends. They trust each other and together, they grow and flourish as independent people. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading…
Share This Article Facebook57Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships Tagged in: relationship, Strengthen Your Relationship building-a-strong-relationship In college, John passed by my English department and waved at me through the glass doors every day after his band practice ended next door. I was a secretary and two years his senior.