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This is because their survival depending on this throughout history. They instinctively respond to certain internal qualities, such as alpha male characteristics, confidence, humor, social value, etc. Just like a man who sees a beautiful woman and feels attracted to her without consciously thinking about why that is, when a woman sees certain internal qualities in a man, she instinctively feels attracted to that man as well. As men, we can now use this knowledge to create strong levels of attraction online and raise our attraction score. After years of gathering knowledge, I have found there are ten basic internal qualities and personality traits that nearly every woman can’t help but responding to. These include, but are not limited to, demonstrating self-confidence, humor, alpha male qualities, etc. All we need to do is take those 10 basic triggers, and infuse them as much as possible into every aspect of our photo galleries, emails, profile writing, and text messages when picking up women online. There are literally unlimited methods to do this.analytic imlive

 Without doing this, men who are 5’s will remain 5’s in the looks department. Women will view the profile of these men and have no choice but to focus only on looks because they have nothing else to utilize. However, the more that these attraction triggers are implemented into every aspect of man’s online dating life, the higher his score becomes. A 3 in the looks department can easily become a 7 or higher when this is done properly. With enough work, even the most beautiful women will view your profile and instinctively experience an attraction towards you that they cannot control. Want more information from Joshua Pompey? To learn 3 secrets every male online dater should know, read this free article now. Or visit this page to learn more about how attraction could be implemented into your online dating life.

Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook4Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: For Men, Online Dating Tagged in: attracting women online, attraction, attraction scores, meeting women online, raising your attraction score Spring has arrived. And for most of us, this time of year could not have come fast enough after the seemingly never-ending winter and brutal cold that many of us city dwellers have faced for months on end. For those of you in warmer climates, I envy you! But whether you have just survived a cold winter, or are heading into warmer weather as we speak, perhaps the best aspect of Spring for singles is the plethora of dating ideas that emerge this time of year.  Gone are the first dates where singles can spend no more than five minutes outdoors without having to check for frost bite or bundle up in six layers.  Its time to get outside, breath in that fresh air, and enjoy all that Spring has to offer. In this article we are going to take a look at 5 Spring dating ideas for the Urban Dater. 1.   Catch a baseball game. One of the best parts of baseball season is that opening day represents more than just the start of baseball.  It is symbolic for the beginning of Spring. You don’t have to be a baseball fan to enjoy this date.  a day at the ball park will fall nothing short of a date that taps into every aspect of fun you could possibly want. Your tickets will all but assure you great weather (pending the rain doesn’t come!), excitement, awesome food, a wide variety of drinks to choose from, and various other fun amenities depending on the ball park.  Stadiums such as Citi Field even have batting cages and video games!

 if you wish to have a fun date that takes the pressure off you to be the sole source of entertainment, this is definitely a solid option. 2.  Plan a day at the nearest park. Dating does not necessarily have to correlate to spending large amounts of money.   Sometimes dates that lean towards the free side are twice as memorable and twice as fun.  Every urban area has at least one great park.  So give it a visit.  Pack a bag and fill it with various items you can use to have fun. Items that work well on your checklist could include a frisbee, a blanket, a picnic basket, and fun snacks.  Plan this right and you will definitely walk away with a date that is extremely memorable. 3.  Hit up those local festivals The best part about residing in an Urban area, is that Spring in Urban neighborhoods often marks the arrival of various outdoors festivals that are all types of amazing fun.  Whether you are attending a food festival and indulging in some unique food creations, catching an assortment of live bands, or attending an art festival, there is usually something for everyone.

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 Check publications such as timeout.com and stay up to date with various activities that will be occurring.

Want more advice from Joshua Pompey?  Women, read this free article on 3 commonly used profile headlines that will destroy your online dating life.  Men, click the link to learn how you can save over 5,000 dollars dating this year. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook8Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Date Ideas Tagged in: dates, Dating, spring dates, spring dating, spring dating ideas From time to time… Okay, like a couple times a week, the Urban Dater gets pitched by folks working at tv stations looking for poor saps to put on the television boob tube. Even the late Taylor Mochulsky appeared on NBC TV when she was a contributor at the Urban Dater. If can happen for that person, it could very well happen for you, too! My name is Mica and I’m the Casting Associate Producer for TLC’s hit makeover show “ What Not To Wear.” We are currently looking for women that date online with shockingly bad wardrobes for this season! In case you aren’t familiar with the show, each episode we surprise a deserving woman whose wardrobe is calling for attention and needs to be updated with a complete makeover. We are currently casting in the Tri¬State area. I wanted to get in touch with you specifically because I’d love to find a single woman who is out there, wanting to be seen…but has no idea how to dress to impress and is possibly nervous about meeting her online boyfriend for the first time!

If know someone who would be a perfect candidate, I’d love to hear from you! If you have any questions or if you would like to nominate someone please contact me via phone or email for more information. *Remember it is a surprise make over and also the person must not know about the show’s interest until Stacy and Clinton appear! Thanks, Micaela Valdes, Casting Associate Producer WHAT NOT TO WEAR | BBC Worldwide 212-956-7425 ext. 222 [email protected] Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook1Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Asides, Special So, just a quick note here. Looks like How About We has coupon feaver!  I’m on a dating hiatus, but that doesn’t mean I still can’t dole out some information for my friends. So I’m on no dating sites right now. Zip.

Zilch. None. I stumbled upon A how about We Coupon over at RetailMeNot. As some of you know, I actually am a big fan of How About We and have used it at different points of my singledom and I dig it because it forces people to think and be creative about where they’re going for the night and what they’re going to do. In other words, I’m all over that shit! But they also started a couples thing not too long ago also, that is pretty bad ass. Seems like the coupon is still good. So head on over to their site and use the coupon “cupcake” no quotes. Let me know if it works. =) Please note that we’re an affiliate of How About we, but this through retailmenot, which we’re not affiliated with. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook1Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: News (image source: gogopicnic.com) Sometimes we sit and stare at our phone screens, obsessively waiting for replies from people who seemed into us, but aren’t texting back.https://topadultreview.com/ You may be wondering, “Am I worthy of love Wait. I talked about this already, didn’t I? There are two sides to every story. I have mentioned how those we deem “assholes” can reach what I call “dating’s lowest bar,” yet I also need to address the issue of us who allow ourselves to continuously be hurt by this behavior. I’m saying “we” here because I need to learn how to take my own advice too.

WE NEED TO STOP PUNISHING OURSELVES AND REALIZE OUR WORTH–our love worth that is. I’m not an expert of affirmations or positive psychology, but I am an expert at being a gay best friend and telling it is. While there are those who need to learn not to play with people’s hearts, there are those of us who should find out to respect our hearts. Sure, that person you’re interested in may be so fucking awesome, and maybe you had sex and some type of connection, but are they making time for you now? I’m going to assume the answer is “no.” So why are YOU leading yourself on? You are worthy of love–WE are worthy of the love WE fantasize about. It’s funny how cliche life can be, but honestly for every “awesome” person who’s just not that into you, there’s one who’s got a big emotional (and sometimes real) boner for you right around the corner! (Though sometimes they seem far and few between.) You just have to do some waiting, digging, and turning a lot of corners.

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Before you move on to accepting the love that you want and other prospective partners have to offer, you have to learn how to cope with getting over your current obsession and realize your own true love worth. This isn’t a definitive list, but these are some great starter tips to get you started on valuing your worth Reality Is More Than A Television Genre Moushumi Ghose, MFT, discusses this obsession as stemming from a fantasy component.

You want this person you can’t have, yet at the same time you’re believing you don’t really deserve them in the first place. Add to that: these fantasy people ARE real and they’re within your reach, and that’s when it becomes unhealthy for you. You fantasize about what you two can have together if only they’d realize you’re the one for them. You become addicted to wanting their attention, even if it’s just some text that gives you an excuse as to why they can’t hang. Fantasies feel so good, and reality bites, but lesbihonest here: While they could be sexy and you two shared something hot once, they’re not respecting your worth and they don’t want to share cloud nine with you. Actions (and silence) speak louder than words. You deserve someone better, even if you don’t believe it yet and can’t help but see this person through rose-colored contacts. The first step: bring yourself to reality! Think about how much this person has made you feel good versus you just sitting there hurt and alone. Something tells me you’ve had a lot of lonely nights rather than hot dates with this person. Now honestly tell yourself, “I deserve more than this.

I’m worth more than excuses. I don’t want to hurt anymore.” Reality hits hard, but, trust me, it’s better than looking like Lorna Morello (cuz orange looks good on no one, and it will never be the new black). Not if you keep obsessing about people who don’t value you, Lornas of the world! Evaluate Your Values Sex educators, like myself, promote exploring your own body through masturbation. It allows you to learn about your body, find out what feels good, and what doesn’t. Like that when you have sex with someone, you can better communicate with them about what pleases you, and it helps establish a healthy sexual relationship. What I’m going to propose is exploring your heart. Take some time to yourself. Shut off your phone, laptops, and TVs, and set a mood in the room or head out into nature. Do anything to create a space where you can think clearly. Now think about what matters most to you as a person? Anything can be a value.

Just to name a few: honesty, open communication (also daily communication), hot sex, privacy, etc. The options are endless. Write them down. That list in your hands–those are your standards. Next, think about what values you want to see in your future partner. What qualities would be most compatible with yours and make you feel emotionally sated? As you meet future prospective partners, remember to consider more than just their looks, finances, or anything that may seem “awesome” on the outside. Those attributes are important, yes, BUT are they also respecting you and making you feel remarkable? Be upfront from the beginning. Ask your dates what matters most to them in a relationship, and what kind of relationship they even want. If you’re feeling conflicted, communicate that actually with both yourself and them. If they’re not responsive, that’s your red flag signaling it’s time to move on. It can be intimidating to ask for what you want, but what you wrote down is the foundation you want your future relationships to be based.

The person you’re obsessing about now could be superficially fun, but they’re not meshing with you on a deeper level. That’s one hell of a shaky foundation, and won’t ever a healthy relationship make. By honoring your core values, you honor yourself. In time, you’ll find yourself spending time with people who better align with you and appreciate your worth. Be Your Own Best Friend One night, I was sitting down with my great friend for coffee to lament over my broken heart and current obsession at the time. I was talking about how I was an idiot for allowing myself to be drawn in by him when she stopped me and said, “Hey! Don’t talk about my friend like that!” Quizzically, I looked at her. Reading through my expression, she replied, “You wouldn’t allow someone to call me an idiot, would you?” I told her of course not, and she let me know, “Then I’m not going to let you discuss my friend Raul like that either.” We’ve all been there banging our heads against the proverbial wall, calling ourselves names while being angry at ourselves for allowing ourselves to fall into this trap yet again, but I’m going to tell you this–STOP!

We all don’t have the privilege of having a sassy gay best friend, or a radical ball-bustin’ she-devil to call our own, but I’m hoping there’s someone in your life who, as the kids say, “keep it one hunnid.” Imagine them telling you the same gawddamn obsessive story you’re living, and think about the advice you would offer to them. What would you say to them? You’d tell them they’re amazing, they deserve better than to allow themselves to be hurt by this fantasy, and they are worthy of respect. All of the same things that I’ve told you today. Be your best friend, and remind yourself that you are worthy. #youknowyourebestfriendswhen It’s never easy to admit the truth to yourself. Hell! I’ve visited DeNile more times than my imaginary passport could be stamped. With time, practice, and reminders, when you find yourself bothered by some person who’s not appreciating you, you’ll think to yourself, “fuck this shit,” and you won’t settle for less. Now grab your phone, text your best friend because you know they’ll text back, making a date to spend time with someone who mutually admires you. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook35Tweet0Pin1 Posted in: Ask the Urban Dater, Dating & Relationships, For Men, For Women, GLBT, Online Dating, Relationships, Self, Tips & Advice Tagged in: advice, attraction, Dating, For Men, For Women, love, Online Dating, Relationships, romance, Sex, single Fellas, the ladies have asked me to tell you a few things.

You see, they love men. They really do. They want to be welcoming and receptive to your polite, solid, and entertaining advances; to be swept off their feet by your charm and wit, to know that they are being approached by a MAN. But, nooooo, some of you have to muck it up for the rest of us by releasing your inner douche. Saddest part is, most of you have no idea you are doing it! Time to Bitch Slap Your Inner Douche! So, let’s break it down. First, let’s realize that women know you are coming on to them from the start. If you are near a woman and you open your mouth, there is a very good chance that you want to sleep with her, and she already knows it. So don’t act like you just want to chat about the weather. She’s waiting for the hammer to drop. If it doesn’t….wimpadouche.

if you would like her number, ask for it. But earn it first. Make her comfortable, make her laugh, whatever. Just follow through. And when she declines; smile, be polite and say, “no worries, have a great day.” And move on! We can get into all sorts of different PUA (Pick Up Artist) training here – work angles, routines and such, but in general, there’s a multitude of reasons she said no and, unless you feel very strongly that she is simply testing you and there is actual interest on her part, just head on down the road. There are other women out there. If you stay engaged and keep pressing her, you are only going to anger her and quite possibly get a soothing, minty-fresh blast of pepper spray to go with your High Karate cologne.

Thus solidifying your annoyadouchedom. Whistling belittles you both. What in the precious Hell do you believe you are going to accomplish by whistling at a woman? Do you really expect her to get all and slither over to you like Tawny Kitaen in a Whitesnake video? (http://youtu.be/i3MXiTeH_Pg. Watch it, it’s worth it). Seriously, has any woman in history ever been whistled at and thought, “Golly, that grimy, late-night-porn-gobbler with the bulging beer belly and a more than likely unfulfilling marriage, just whistled at me… I’m on top of the world”? Doubtful, indeed. And would you really want a woman with such low self esteem that she would trot right on over when you basically called her to you like a dog? Okay, some of you, don’t answer that. But most of the actual MEN out there are not looking for a basket case, prone to silently cutting herself under the table because you didn’t call her “pretty” fast enough. So, whistling is a lose-lose situation that could make you an assadouche. Cease the swivel neck. Next time you are somewhere there are a lot people, sit back and watch the guys. When a hot woman walks into the room, the guys necks start to swivel.

It’s amazing. Now, I understand that we guys are created like that. We have to look. But we do it so blatantly that we come across like 12 year olds seeing a boob for the first time. Calm yourselves, gentlemen. Have you ever noticed how quickly a woman can check out a guy? No. Of course you haven’t. Because women are damn good at it.

When a guy walks into the room, a woman has sized him up in seconds and already determined if he has a shot. They figured it all out while we still haven’t retracted our tongues back into our frothing mouths, which smacks of immaturadouchery. Don’t stare. Yes, eye contact is considered a powerful attraction component – when done correctly. a little glance, a little response, a little smile, is all well and good. But most guys do it wrong. There is an entire art to this, but suffice it to say, that if you stare at her too long, you will start to resemble a most wanted rapist mugshot and she will fear ending up in pieces in your freezer. And this, my friend, is the ultimate state of scarydoucheosity.

Don’t buy her that drink. You don’t know this person, nor do you owe her anything.

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